April 21, 2018

Mud slinging and thank you’s- another day in paradise

After months of rain and more rain, Hogsback, as I have mentioned before, is completely water logged. This means my driveway has become an exciting, extreme sport, mud slide. I had to, over the last few weeks, on occasion give a few of my guests a push to get rid of them, as in getting them through the mud and out my driveway.

As I am blessed with a good solid car, aptly named Hogegina, I have, untill today, not had a problem sliding and slipping out of my driveway. I just put my foot flat, hold onto the steering wheel and try not to slide into my gate on the way out.

Today, however, she decided to dig in her heels. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have not bothered washing her for quite a while. Why bother? One trip up my lane and she is once more covered in mud. So, on this bright and sunny morning, which has been a rarity in itself, I did my normal reverse and got ready for takeoff similarly to a plane coming to a complete halt just before official liftoff. Only, this time, there was not a sliver of traction. We were stuck, with our backside in a bush, facing the right way, but with no movement whatsoever.

At first I did not panic. I can do this. I have never been a stuck-in-the-mud. Nope, not my style.

My staff diligently appeared to come and lend a hand and by this time my paying guest also made a guest appearance to see what the commotion was all about. After placing the necessary re-enforcement in place around my tyres, I braced myself and my willing volunteers (guest included) positioned themselves to give me a push. Goooooo. Alas, no go. I tried this way and that, but it only resulted in Hoggegina’s arse sliding further into the hydrangeas, dangerously close to the edge, and my poor pushers having an early morning mud shower. I am looking forward to reading the raving guest review on trip adviser.

So, to make a long story short, I was, after all, a stuck in the mud. My dream of joining my neighbour for her birthday breakfast, was fast disappearing and I would have had to to un-order my pre-order and go and make my own breakfast. Bummer. As I opened the car door, I realised that my cutesie slipper boots were not going to deal well with the thick mud pool through which they would have had to shimmy. So I had a choice. Either I stay in the car till the sun bakes my driveway into a drivable state, which could take a few months, or I swallow my pride and yell for help on my local Hogsback village Whatsapp group and be the hossip of the day for days.

Which is what brings me to the moral of this story. There is no place like Hogsback. I love, love, did I mention…love, my village and in particular, the village people. Sure there will be hossipping about the way I go about rounding up the village guys to help me with a diverse range of calamities like …flat tyres (thanx Mike, Jeff and Fritz), putting the fire out in my bedroom (thanx Pete), a broken tumble dryer (thanx Nic), a burst geyser (thanx Wayne), bee extractions (thanx Mike and Shane) and various other household emergencies (thanx Mike and Jeff). If I haven’t mentioned you, it is not due to lack of gratitude, but rather a lack of memory, so sorry and thank you.

But today I have to yet again say thank you to Vincent. He has been there on numerous occasions rescue-ing me (and Santie) after a mini tornado, helping to dry up after my bedroom got flooded (that was not my fault) and pulling me out of the mud in record time. See the quick response time in the Whatsapp transcript. Big BIG BIGGG thank you! I even got to breakfast without my eggs or cappuccino getting cold. Again, big thank you!

So what can I say apart from thank you? Another day in paradise.

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